Turn on Cable Modem SNMP via LAN

No, there is not. You would think there would be, this being "business class" and all, but sadly no. I know I would find it quite valuable myself.

BE WARNED EVERYONE!   Even if a modem is listed as "Comcast Approved" apparently (as I just discovered) this has nothing to do with business service.   So, for example, Comcast refuses to provision my brand new D-Link DMC-301.  You have to use the slider at the top right to find business class approved modems: http://mydeviceinfo.comcast.net/

After escalating up to a supervisor two other things came up: Only the Netgear CG3000DCR and the SMC SMCD3G-CCR work with static IPs.  No other modem can be provisioned with static IPs (which I have).  Just those two.

Finally, the supervisor clearly stated that even if I were to obtain one of these two modems (ie; not renting them) they would still not be able to provision it as COMCAST REQUIRES YOU TO RENT IF YOU HAVE STATIC IPs.  Since they're not retail devices you can't get them easily anyway (nice trick guys!).  They did make it clear if I eBayed one they would not provision it.  They have to pre-configure them at the office before they go out for statics.

Don't waste your time and money like I did trying to go about this any other way.  If you have perm IPs and business service you're stuck renting a device which doesn't have SNMP -or- IPv6 support (ultra lame).  So unimpressed and annoyed at wasting half a day (so far -- still have to return the D-Link modem, too).  Hopefully this saves someone from doing the same.